Empathy is understanding, Kindness is action.
When we are empathetic, we are learning and understanding what it might be like to experience the world through the experiences of others. Being kind is when we take action from the things we have learned.
It’s why I believe we call it ‘acts of kindness’ instead of ‘acts of empathy’.
Acts of Kindness are examples of times you have learned something about someone that you care about enhancing or improving. They require empathy but go one step further. Acts of kindness require consideration of the individual, care, strength, and patience, and most importantly, something is done about it.
Let’s go through some examples. When was the last time you gave up your seat on public transport? Or told someone they looked nice today? Or even let them know that their shoe laces were undone? Or maybe helped a group of tourists find their way?
Well done, these are all random acts of kindness.
Key factors of these acts is that you put the person or group you are helping first, not you, not your schedule, or the fact that you might have missed a stop, or had to stand a little longer on your journey home than you first planned. Or even made someone’s day by recognising the effort they put into themselves.
You put that person first, without expectation of anything in return, only to improve or enhance their experience of the world in that moment. This is the ethos of Be Kind Research.
Design research needs also to be given these considerations. Design research has become extractive in the approaches by default. Companies politics are put first before the very audience you want to help or enhance. We are making decisions without that person at the centre, without real kindness, real action, to make their everyday better.
We say we understand and want to learn about someone’s situation, but then say we are limited by budget, time, sign-off. Inclusive and accessible design becomes an add-on rather than baked into the process.
That’s why being kind throughout the design process is crucial. It doesn’t put the person second to the outcome, it puts the person first.
Practical acts of kindness you can incorporate into your design process:
Figure out how you will put the person first at every stage of the design process - make the changes you can, today!
Only take the personal information you need, and no more
Do not discriminate your kindness, learn about intersectionality and accessibility
Genuinely listen to what they tell you
Don’t make decisions for your audience or make assumptions about their lives
Build your community of customers from a place of giving, not extracting.
Then, you can take action from that process by:
Changing the idea from yours to theirs (egos are the enemy of genuine kindness)
Using real customer stories in your marketing
Embedding inclusivity not just in one project but throughout company culture
Celebrate the value in untold stories that you left space for when you gave people time to tell their story